BDSM 101: How To Be Dominant in The Bedroom ?

Many individuals feel that being dominant, submissive, or switching is imprinted from birth. They assume that they cannot learn to be dominant in the bedroom or become more submissive, but even if you are naturally dominating, you must gather knowledge and experience to be a successful domme. And you may learn to expertly dominate your boyfriend even if that is not your primary motivation.

With the correct mindset, an open mind, and the right tools, you will quickly discover that becoming dominating in the bedroom is manageable, powerful, and a lot of fun! Follow these simple principles, and you'll be on your way to being more powerful and adventurous in the bedroom.

It is not one giant leap.

Jumping in too quickly may result in a terrible experience that might have been avoided, or worse, someone may be injured.

Even if you finally dominate your guy hardcore with whips and blades, don't expect to do so from the start. It takes time to learn how to be dominant and, more importantly, a good domme to a partner. Being an effective dominating necessitates experience.

Start with less intense or extreme actions (keep in mind that even experimenting with power exchange might make things feel more intense!). This way, if something goes wrong, it will be lot easier to deal with because it is your role as the dominant to take command. Knowing you can deal with minor — or major — setbacks will give you the confidence to take on more intense sorts of play and respond calmly when anything goes wrong.

On the other hand, dominating your man does not have to be very severe. If you merely want to instruct him to conduct a few mostly-vanilla actions (vanilla refers to non-kinky sexual practices), that's OK! Simply wielding that power may be quite sexy, and the two of you can feel the flow of power between you. Initiating sex and telling your partner what to do may not be that kinky (what is kinky, anyway?), but it's a good start and can help you have better sex! So start with that.

Many women make the mistake of believing that in order to become dominant, they must make abrupt, huge changes in their attitudes and behaviours. Fortunately, this is not the case at all. In fact, if you abruptly shift your attitude, you may startle your man, which is clearly not the purpose.

Try initiating: Kiss your boyfriend when he doesn't expect it. Run your fingers up and down his leg to communicate what you're thinking. Take him by the hand and walk him somewhere private, then begin unbuckling his belt. Push him down on your bed. Try various 'ladies on top' sexual positions. Gently nibbled his lip. Begin with the easier tasks and you'll immediately see how simple and enjoyable it is!

Tell him you want to try something new: like pin his arms and tying him to the bed. You may bind his wrists behind his back and then 'have your way with him' by delivering a blow job. You may ask him to lie down on you and then place your hands on his head to direct his attention to the specific area you want him to concentrate on.

Keep going.

When you're comfortable with that, it's time to take things a little farther. Some individuals believe that while learning how to be dominating, the greatest method to increase your influence is by what you say. This might make it easier for you to get into the appropriate mindset.

Begin by giving him simple directions or directives.

Can you please rub my feet?

Get me a glass of wine, please.

Go, warm the bed for me.

Once he is enjoying obeying these directions, you may go a little kinkier, especially if you are actually having sexual relations with your boyfriend. Here are some sample commands to offer him. Once you've tried some of these ideas and 'dipped your toe' into the world of controlling your partner, it's time to figure out what kind of dominance you enjoy.

Most people desire to experiment with domination to a limited extent and solely in the bedroom. Others want to live the lifestyle around the clock and absolutely 'own' or control their guy. You won't know what you desire until you begin exploring domination. One common misconception regarding dominance in bed is that it requires harsh or brutal behaviour. It is completely acceptable to be a more loving and praising dominant, or to engage in things that are "less kinky." In fact, it could be preferable.

You'll feel more at ease controlling your partner if you're a dominant version of yourself, rather than merely emulating what you believe dominance should be.

So, if the thought of trampling on your man's genitals makes your stomach churn, don't do it. Being sadistic and cruel may be both enjoyable and rewarding. However, you do not have to focus on correcting and punishing behaviour.

What is the alternative?

You may be a loving dominating. You praise excellent behaviour rather than penalise it. Instead of telling your spouse how horrible he is or embarrassing him, you tell him how glad you are that he did what you asked for in the way you desired.

There's nothing wrong with being harsh or sadistic. Some submissives give up control because it is exactly what gets them off. And if it works for you and your partner, fantastic! But feel free to be more romantic and rewarding if that's a better fit, or to mix and match depending on the setting. This takes us to the second question you could have if you want to learn how to be more powerful in bed.

What is a Scene?

When reading writings on dominance, BDSM, and other kinky practices, you'll frequently come across the phrase "scene." In this moment, we are discussing playtime.

So…

During a scene, you may use unique nicknames to assist reinforce your roles and get you in the correct mindset. During a scene, your partner may refer to you as Mistress [Name] or a version of your given name. You may force him to address you as "Ma'am" or utilise specific sentence constructions. Some female dominants go by "Mommy."

These are all personal preferences.

Scenes are sometimes meticulously prepared, leaving little space for variation. This might be an excellent technique to play whether you're initially experimenting with controlling your partner, playing with a new partner, or attempting something new and more extreme.

On the other hand, when they're with familiar partners or hobbies, or when they're not doing anything too strenuous, individuals tend to go with the flow.

Stay Safe and Know the Risks.

Remember, however, that just because you've done this previously does not imply it's risk-free.

Even 'vanilla' sex poses hazards of pregnancy, STI transmission, and injury. Even if you've done something a thousand times before, things might go wrong. In kink scenes, this is represented by the abbreviation RACK. RACK represents risk-aware consensual kink. Essentially, it states that everything you're doing is consensual, but you also acknowledge the underlying danger.

Your Responsibilities as a Domme

You could be excited to start your first scene with your companion. Perhaps you have previously played together and discovered that you enjoy being domineering in bed. Congratulations! However, you may want to take a step back, especially if you want to do more rigorous activities.

Even if you never do anything extreme, it's crucial to understand that as a dominant, you have specific obligations in your scene. You are responsible not just for tying up and spanking your companion, but also for their safety. To ensure that you are totally prepared for your scene, you must follow a few guidelines both during and before it.

1. Know your tools. This might be practicing on a pillow before a person, treating rope before using it for the first time, conducting research before purchasing a new toy or item, or watching someone else use it. Some dominants refuse to utilise products without first trying them on themselves to determine their full influence. You'll also want to learn how to clean and keep the goods you use.
2. Prior to your scenario, discuss limitations and safety. Before playing with someone, make sure you understand safe phrases, health issues, and hard and soft boundaries. You may use a BDSM contract to ensure that you cover everything.
3. Prepare for the worst. We recommend having everything you could need on hand in case a situation goes wrong. Something powerful enough to cut through bondage (a safety scissors or bolt cutter), keys to any locks, a first-aid kit, and a charged cell phone are all recommended. It may even be useful to keep a fire extinguisher nearby. Knowing that these items are on hand in case something goes wrong will help you stay calm.
4. Start lighter than light, build slower than slow. This phrase is excellent for ensuring that a situation plays exactly as you intend. You may always push harder or faster, but you can't undo something that has caused harm.
5. Respect every safe word. Your slave must know that you will heed safe words. Some say that you can't trust their permission if you're not sure they're comfortable cancelling it. You may practise by demanding that your companion use a safe term. When your submissive employs a safe word (or action), respect it. Stop and check in. If you're utilising the traffic signal system, a yellow may indicate halt or stop.
6. Check-in with your spouse. Even if your submissive spouse does not use their safe word, you should check in. Done correctly, you don't have to break character or disrupt the flow of a scene by sexily growling, "You like that, don't you?" However, it is perfectly appropriate to be more direct and careful, especially if you are learning to be more dominant or playing with new partners who may react unexpectedly when anything happens, whether good or terrible.
7. Pay attention to how they behave. A submissive may not feel comfortable or able to utilise a safe phrase because they are gagged or otherwise unable to communicate. If they enter subspace (understand what'subspace' is), they may be unaware of their current situation. You'll need to keep an eye on your spouse and pay attention to physical and nonverbal indicators of concern. You may need to pause the scenario if you detect something.
8. Never leave your lover alone. Some individuals may joke about trying someone up and then leaving the room or even rushing to the shop, but leaving a tied person alone may be quite dangerous. If they are suspended, the system may shut down. They might have a natural health condition, such as a stroke, seizure, or simply a nosebleed, with no one to care for them.
9. Stay cool if something goes wrong. "Wrong" is subjective. It might signify that your spouse is using his safe word, therefore you should stop/pause and check. This might signify that the scene ends prematurely. Injury, fainting, a seizure, fire, or some unanticipated catastrophe, on the other hand, necessitates that you, the dominant, take command. If you're prepared, you should be able to handle most problems with ease and remain cool throughout the process.
10. Provide aftercare for both your subordinate and yourself. Aftercare refers to treatment that helps a person regain physical and emotional balance following a traumatic event. This might include food and drink, a warm blanket, or cuddling. Some folks like quiet and seclusion. Aftercare is fairly diverse, and you should be prepared not just to supply it to your partner, but also to search for methods to attain it as a dominant (yes, they frequently require it, too!). Learn more about the BDSM aftercare.
11. Seek aid if required. Although many individuals engage in some facet of BDSM outside of a community, engaging with other kinksters may give you with knowledge, experience, support, and advice. For example, you may not be able to give aftercare in some scenarios. This might be after a particularly stressful scene, or for yourself. You might seek the assistance of another individual to give aftercare. Simply do so before a scene so they may agree to be accessible.

All of these guidelines can help you create a safe and pleasurable situation for everyone involved. It may seem like a lot, but being prepared helps to mitigate bad effects. You may breathe a bit easier knowing you have the information and tools to protect yourself and your spouse.

It goes without saying that you should respect your partner. If you don't respect him, you're likely to neglect the norms and obligations that come with being a dominant, and someone may be wounded as a result. Submissives are frequently cautioned about dominants who are disrespectful, which makes them hazardous. You do not want to be that person!

Creating Your Scene

It is often not a good idea to just start your scene. You must prepare. Preparations such as getting to know your tools and planning your scenario are covered above. Gather your supplies before a scenario. This comprises paddles, bondage gear, lubricant, and other needs, but it can also include safety equipment such as safety shears (which paramedics use to remove patients' garments), a First Aid Kit, and other safety equipment.

But it isn't all you need to do.

Negotiation

One of your tasks as a dominant is to discuss a few details prior to a scenario. This is referred to as negotiating. We mentioned it earlier, but it's important enough to justify more explanation.

Negotiation is critical to ensuring that everyone has a nice time.

Negotiation is how you understand what your spouse is willing to do, what they will not do (known as a "limit"), and if they have any health concerns. This is an excellent moment to talk about any drugs, like as insulin, that you may need to use. You might also talk about anxieties of tight areas, the dark, or prior traumas.

Safe word - Your spouse can tell you his safe word, or the two of you can agree on one together.

Limits - Remember that you can state your own limitations and concerns.

Some complications may occur throughout the negotiation, requiring you to compromise.

Now, this may seem official, and negotiating a scene might be more organised, especially with a new partner, but it can also be informal. This is especially true in less intense scenarios or when you're comfortable with your companion. This may be a pleasant and sexy hobby. Negotiation can take place over the phone or by text as part of your dirty chat, or you can communicate your boundaries to your spouse over a coffee date before entering the bedroom.

Negotiation is the process by which you may express your desires and goals. How would a successful scenario look like? How will you all know it's doing well? Answering these questions allows you to get to know your spouse and vice versa, which might put you in a good mood!

As you can see, dominating him requires a lot of communication. In fact, some believe that the BDSM movement has facilitated more open and healthy discussions about sex.

Do not be concerned if you find it difficult to participate in these talks. Many individuals have difficulty talking about sex. However, it becomes simpler with time and expertise. And chatting about sex may significantly improve your sex experience.

Your First Scene

If you're searching for dominance ideas for your very first scene, I recommend something really simple. Begin with the sex you are accustomed to and add one aspect, such as bondage or a blindfold. It may not seem like a huge deal to add both at once, but adding two new aspects might be stressful for both of you. So you may tie up your partner and have your way with him, which might entail riding him, performing oral sex, teasing him with your hands or a sex toy to get him near to climax before backing off, or sitting on his face.

Alternatively, you might wear a blindfold while having sex as usual. One dominating suggestion to assist your partner is to walk them through what you're doing for the first few times they're blindfolded, similar to how a masseuse may announce what's coming next. This assures that there are no surprises.

Remember, it's normal to be apprehensive. This is why you should start small. And it's acceptable to feel weird, especially if you're used to being subservient.

When your scene is finished, release your companion and continue with aftercare.

When the two of you are comfortable with each aspect alone, you may mix them in future scenarios.

What happens if something goes wrong?

Stop. Remain calm. Panic might force you to react slowly or not at all, or to behave in a frantic manner, making things hazardous. Determine what you need to do.

This most likely involves untying someone, removing blindfolds and gags, and finding a comfortable and safe area for their body to relax. They might be conscious or not. If they are alert, speak to them quietly to keep them connected and inform them of what is going on.

If you grab your keys, safety sheers, and bandage ahead of time, you won't have to scramble for them.

Care for wounds and deliver necessary treatment. Are you comfortable giving injections if necessary? Most scenes will not end horribly. You may sometimes encounter someone fainting out or an incorrect throw of the whip that cuts skin. Most non-life-threatening illnesses will pass shortly. The action can sometimes continue, but you may wish to cut it short for safety reasons.

After The Scene

When your scene ends, it's time to give aftercare, which we've just discussed briefly. We won't go into detail because you can scroll ahead or read this guide to aftercare, but there are a few things to keep in mind.

First, the aftercare period might be prolonged. You may give some early aftercare, but a follow-up call the next morning, or even a short coffee or ice cream date a few days later, may assist assure your partner's well-being. Even if they appreciated the scene, they may experience overpowering sentiments as their hormones return to normal. It may take a day or more for their body and mind to return to normal.

Second, a scene may be draining for both a dominant and a submissive. This is known as top drop or dom drop, and it is one of the reasons that both dominants and tops require aftercare.

Top drop can cause physical and mental problems, including:

• Fatigue Pain
• Having difficulty making decisions.
• Clouded thinking.
• Insomnia
• Loss of appetite
• Lack of interest in hobbies or sexual activities
• Restlessness or anxiousness
• Irritability
• Sadness

There are several specific sentiments you may have after dominating someone. Feeling terrible about how you treated someone, wondering whether you're a bad person or doubting your value, and even suicidal thoughts may all happen to a dominant after a scene, even if it didn't appear to be very severe. This might occur days later. Do not overlook how power exchange may improve even the most basic sexual action.

Your spouse may be able to assist by complimenting you for playing, reminding you that they love and care for you, or even offering you a glass of water. You may be able to support each other through your drops, but occasionally dropping hinders you from assisting your submissive, and vice versa. This is when another person may be useful. These negative sensations might be overwhelming for a beginner dominant, which is why you should chat with an experienced dominant or two, or perhaps ask someone to be your kinky mentor!

You can prepare better if you know what to expect. However, not everyone experiences top drop, nor does it occur in every scene.

What to Do When You Dominate Your Partner?

Now that you're ready to start or arrange your scenario, you might be wondering what to do. There are practically endless activities to consider, and merely directing your partner what to do may make things kinky.

Bondage is the act of physically constraining your guy, whether by tying him up or limiting his access to certain areas. It may be as easy as tying his hands together, or it could be considerably more complicated, involving bespoke restraints built expressly for bondage scenarios. Begin by attempting mild bondage.

Discipline is comparable to bondage, but it emphasises punishment and control depending on your man's behaviour. So, when he violates the rules you've established, you'll need to discipline him. There are many different ways to punish your boyfriend.

You can do it physically by hitting or striking him with your hands, a whip, cane, paddle, or whatever suits your fancy. You can also discipline him mentally, such as by imposing humiliating punishments or restricting him access to specific areas of your home.

Domination (and submission) - If you are the dominant one, your spouse will submit to you, obey your directions, and strive to please you. However, they have granted you the authority to do so and can remove it if they believe it is necessary to use their safe word. You may indulge in bondage and kinky play without controlling your spouse. This is called as topping, although some toppers may not identify as dominating.

Sadism is the sexual pleasure and fulfilment that comes from inflicting pain or sorrow on others. So it may come from slapping or whipping your guy, but it could also come from placing him in a scenario that makes him feel embarrassed or unhappy.

Remember that you have the freedom to choose whatever components of play to include. If you solely enjoy bondage, there is nothing wrong with it.

There are so many options to attempt that you might never do the same thing twice. Alternatively, you may become so engrossed in a certain hobby that it becomes a bedtime ritual. It is entirely up to you and your partner to discover what works for you.

It’s Not All About Sex

Although we’re talking about how to be more dominant in bed and domination games involve sex for most people, this isn’t always the case.

Domination and submission do not have to be sexual.

That's correct. You can participate in behaviours that do not involve sexual penetration, such as oral or manual sexual acts. Kinky behaviours can provide sexual pleasure or even orgasm for some people, even if they are not overtly sexual. However, you may control someone without using sex, and some individuals opt to forego sex while playing with people outside of their love relationships in order to avoid breaching their relationship obligations.

If you're playing at a party or in a public place rather than at home, you may choose not to engage in sexual activity. It is all up to you, like with everything else in BDSM.

Taking It Beyond the Bedroom

Although this essay focuses on being dominating in bed, some people engage in dominance games outside of the bedroom. If you and your lover desire more than just bedroom play, consider developing your relationship into a D/s partnership (D/s stands for dominance and submission).

For individuals who are most committed to power exchange partnerships, a 24/7 connection may be the greatest option. These partnerships, also known as total power exchange, provide dominants the greatest authority while simultaneously assigning them the most responsibility. This relationship style is not for everyone, but it is worth considering if you feel compelled to be dominating in all aspects of your relationship.

Of course, if you don't want to change your entire marital dynamic, you may only be sexually dominating. Every couple is different.

When Reality Doesn’t Live Up to Fantasy

Up to this point, we've assumed that your spouse like the concept of you controlling him, that scenes go well, and that this kinky play enhances your sexual life. What if that isn't the case? Many times, attempting to play the part of domme might backfire or fail completely.

• When your partner does not want to submit
• When your partner like to control you or when you choose to remain subservient
• When your spouse tries to dominate the scenario (also known as topping from below)
• When you struggle with the required abilities.
• When someone is injured or anything else goes wrong.
• When you don't like controlling your boyfriend

This list is intended to give you an idea of how reality may differ from your imagination. It's something to think about before you attempt it.

It might be heartbreaking to try to control your lover when he isn't into it. It's difficult to be a good dominant when your partner isn't giving it his all. And it is unethical to compel someone to submit. Their surrender is a gift that should be freely given.

Not every desire has to become a reality.

If you believe this is the case for you, you may still be able to reap some of the benefits of power play through your filthy talk. You could also love reading - or writing - erotica about it, or viewing porn that has the characteristics you appreciate.

However, some people are born dominant (or submissive). They cannot have a sexual or romantic connection with it. If you find yourself in this situation, you should assess if your relationship is viable. And if it isn't, you might have to terminate things.

On the other hand, in certain cases, you just need to prepare better or try a scenario with a new partner to have the desired sensation.

And as you acquire more experience as a domme, you'll lose some of your apprehension, develop confidence, and ideally leave the most of the awkwardness behind.

However, you may find it easy to dominate him. When you allow yourself to be sexually dominating, you may discover a new side of yourself. Some people believe that participating in BDSM allows them to be "something authentic, unalienated, undisciplined, and noncommodified," especially when compared to media representations of BDSM.

One study of BDSM practitioners found that “participants perceived sexual BDSM experiences as facilitating deeper interpersonal connections than those available in sex

There's no denying that learning how to be a domme may be life-changing for individuals. Learning how to be more sexually dominating does not have to entail whips and chains or any of the conventional imagery you may see in porn or read about in 50 Shades of Grey. It appears on a spectrum. Sure, some individuals prefer the more severe stuff, or even a tiny amount of it, but at the end of the day, the goal is to find what works for you. When you do, your relationship with your guy will strengthen, your sexual pleasure will rise, and you may grow as a person.

Frequently Asked Questions.

Is it abnormal or immoral to desire to be sexually dominant? Or does my spouse want me to control him?

Nope! Many people, including women, want to control their relationships, while others want to be submissive and dominated. Up to 10% of the population may be involved in SM.

You may not realise it since, according to one survey, only around 9.8% of people are entirely open about their BDSM practices. Some kinksters consider deliberately attempting to avoid disclosure. This might be because of the stigma that still accompanies BDSM, which "has resulted in harassment, physical attacks, and discrimination against SM-identified individuals."

According to researcher Justin Lehmiller, BDSM fantasies are a form of escapism, and other research indicates that kinksters engage in BDSM activities "for a variety of reasons, including experiencing spirituality, deepening interpersonal connections, reducing stress and achieving altered states of consciousness” or for pleasure and transcendence.

Another research found several benefits:

• Pleasure comes from pleasing others.
• Benefits of this activity include physical enjoyment
• Fun
• Diverse experiences
• personal growth
• enhanced love relationships
• community involvement
• psychological release
• Freedom from daily roles

According to one researcher, "Practising BDSM can be understood as a process of increasing expansion, creation, and connection." People consistently report that participating in these activities boosted their sense of self-worth.

There's no reason you should just have vanilla sex or submit to your spouse if it doesn't make for a fulfilling sex life, but there are plenty of reasons to go kinky!

And trying to control your man does not imply that something is wrong with you. According to studies, persons who practise BDSM are as psychologically healthy as the general population, and their interest in S&M is neither a psychiatric symptom or an indication of distress, nor does it produce dysfunction.  Strange individuals could be "more open to new experiences, more conscientious, less rejection sensitive, had higher subjective well-being ."

Studies indicate that "sadomasochists are generally high-functioning, contributing members of society who keep their sexuality within the confines of their home and their relationship " This applies to both "sadistic" dominants and masochist/submissives.

These partnerships might be ethical.

Some people just participate in BDSM because of the perks that are comparable to other unique hobbies such as firewalking. It may also make you feel better to know that "power, not the giving and receiving of pain, is at the core of SM."

Finally, one may be domineering or sexually cruel without physically injuring their companions. In fact, some argue that, while you may injure your partner during a scene, you should never harm them.

Outsiders may not see the distinctions between dominance and genuine abuse, but community members are ready to call them out. It's vital to keep kinksters safe, as some abusive individuals may conflate BDSM activities with abusive relationships and use domination to abuse a partner.

How should I respond if my partner wants me to dominate him?

Do not stress out. Thank him for sharing one of his dreams. Consider whether this is something you would appreciate or be willing to try with him.

If you can't do it, can you turn it into nasty talk? Is this a hard pass? If you are unable to accept this, your spouse must respect your sentiments. Perhaps you can arrange for him to participate in BDSM with outside partners.

If your spouse need dominance and you are unable to offer it or enable him to seek it elsewhere, you may choose to end the relationship. In this instance, you two may just be incompatible. Resentment can arise from both sides.

What if I just can't get into the correct mindset?

For some people, being dominant or submissive is a personality attribute rather than a role they perform. If you are genuinely submissive, it is pointless to play the opposing character since it will always be a bad match.

Furthermore, if you're searching for a genuine emotional or spiritual power exchange, you and your partner may need to play opposing roles in order for power to flow between you. For some, not having a spouse who is a domme or sub is a deal-breaker.

However, controlling your guy requires time and experience. One approach that might assist is to have him call you by a certain name throughout a scenario, which can help you focus on the game. You could also have a nickname or other instructions for him.

Certain clothing, costumes, or accessories may also prove handy in this regard. Some submissives wear collars throughout scenes to attain the desired state of mind, and you can put the collar on your partner as the scene begins.

Do I have to degrade my partner if I control him?

No! You may be a kind domme and thank him for good behaviour rather than being harsh and punishing him.

Is it safe to simply leap into a BDSM scene?

Generally, no. This might result in a dangerous scene or an unpleasant encounter that permanently alters your perception of kink. Learn your tools and hone your talents. Conduct proper research before purchasing or using tools. It is your obligation as the domme to manage the situation and look after your companion. If something goes wrong, it is your responsibility. If something goes wrong, you might face legal consequences.

How can I convince my boyfriend to let me dominate him?

If you want to control someone but your spouse is unwilling to submit, you may have to compromise or walk away. However, you may explain that these desires are common, that kinksters can be healthy, and that this can improve your relationship and possibly alter his view. Remind him that he still has control and may stop or suspend play at any time by using his safe word.

Perhaps arrange your first scene(s) down to the minute so you both know what will happen. There are further recommendations for your first scene above.

Do I have to wear leather, refer to my lover as a "slut," or torment his genitals while dominating him?

Nope! There is no single item that everyone does.Choose what works best for you and your relationship. Whether you're in command or inflicting pain on your partner, the scenario should benefit both of you.

Choose activities and attire that make you feel confident, seductive, and strong. If leather or thigh-high boots are not your style, you don't have to wear them.  Instead than mimicking a cliche, simply dress and act like a powerful figure.

It will be difficult to get into the correct frame of mind if you are uncomfortable and self-conscious. There may be some embarrassment or chuckles at first, but with practice, you should be able to perform easily and enjoy yourself.

Why do I feel so bad after dominating my partner?

Negative emotions might arise following a situation, even if it was not extremely intense. Hurting someone, especially someone you love, is difficult to do. We are instructed not to. You could worry whether you're a monster or have emotions of remorse, self-doubt, and worthlessness after an incident or the next day. You are absolutely not alone! Many people relate this to top/dom drop, which is a genuine and realistic feeling. Although it occurs less commonly in dominants than in submissives, it can nonetheless be concerning. It is important to note that top drop can also cause the medical symptoms stated in the preceding article.

Find strategies to care for oneself after a scene, maybe with the help of a partner or third party, to reduce top drop and facilitate the return to equilibrium.